LOL Washington Football Team History

The Washington Football Team used to be one of the proudest organizations in football until being single handily driven 10 miles into the ground by Dan Snyder.

2000-2010

 * Snyder hired Marty Schottenheimer as the next HC of Washington, he led them to 8-8 in the 2001 season, Snyder fired him after just one season. Reason being he wanted to take on former University of Florida coach Steve Spurrier instead.
 * This coaching change blew up in Dan's face as Spurrier posted at 7-9 season in 2002 and a 5-11 season in 2003, Spurrier promptly resigned realizing he was in over his head.
 * Snyder then brought Joe Gibbs back into the organization.
 * After a 6-10 season in 2004, the team improved to 10-6 in 2005 and made into the playoffs, after being Buccs, they lost to the Seahawks in the second round.
 * Following a bunch of offseason moves, the Redskins were given expectations going into the 2006 season, in Washington tradition they were never met as they went 5-11.
 * Then in 2007 tragedy hit, while they improved, one of their best players, Safety Sean Taylor, was shot and killed during the season. They made the playoffs at 9-7 but lost to the Seahawks in the first game.

Proving Ground for future Coaches

 * In the 2010 offseason, the Skins would hire Mike Shanahan as their next head coach, he would also bring in his son Kyle as OC and Sean McVay as TE coach, more on them later.
 * The team also traded a few lower draft picks to the Eagles for QB Donovan McNabb and picked up All-American Tackle Trent Williams with their first rounder, Campbell was traded to Oakland for a 2012 4th rounder.
 * The 2010 season went as followed.
 * With a new coach, Shanahan had some new defensive schemes that Albert Haynesworth didn't like because he had to play nose tackle. He would get suspended by the Redskins after missing a ton of practices.
 * While some bright spots, McNabb wasn't efficient enough, therefore Shanahan benched him in a December game against the Cowboys for Rex Grossman.
 * The Skins ended the season 6-10.
 * In the offseason, Haynesworth was traded to New England following the situation with Shanahan.
 * McNabb was sent to the Vikings for two 6th rounders.
 * DT Jarvis Jenkins was selected in the second round so Shanahan can have guys who will work with his defensive schemes, he tore his ACL in the preseason.
 * The 2011 season went as followed
 * After Grossman threw 4 interceptions in a week 6, he was benched for back up John Beck, for three games, all of which he would lose.
 * They went 5-11.
 * The Redskins traded up in the 2012 draft to get QB Robert Griffin III at number 2, it was a good move (for the time being)
 * The NFL would bust Snyder, along with Jerry Jones, for going over the cap limit in the 2012 season, they were both fined.
 * Luckily for 2012, there was a post season.
 * Because this is the Redskins it had a tragic end. In the first round against the Seahawks, RG3 would tear both his ACL and LCL. So not only did they lose the game, but they lost their QB for all of next season.
 * Due to RG3's injury everything would derail and burst into flames with a 3-13 record in the 2013 season. Snyder and Allen would fire Shanahan and nearly all his staff after the season ended.
 * Mike's son Kyle became the OC of the Falcons and led them to a superbowl (where they wound up choking to New England). He then got offered a head coaching job with the 49ers and after one tough season turned them into Superbowl contenders (where they choked again, this time to Andy Reid's Chiefs).
 * Sean McVay became head coach of the Rams and led them to a superbowl as well (also loosing to the well oiled New England machine).

Brother 2Y Banana

 * The Skins hired Jay Gruden as their next HC, Jon Gruden's little brother.
 * Snyder also realized he never sold out a home game at FedEx field, and sought to move the team back into the DC area at a new stadium, which would require tax payer money and actual fan interest. Good luck with that Dan!
 * Jay wasn't at all prepared for the 2014 season.
 * 3 different QBs would start during the season, it did not stop the mediocrity of 4-12.
 * DC Jim Haslett, formerly of Shanahan's staff who was somehow still around, was fired
 * Bruce Allen then decided to do the right thing and hired a GM to oversee the roster, Scot McCloughan.
 * This move showed how awful Allen was at running things as McCloughan would proceed to fix everything for a successful 2015 season.
 * Kirk Cousins was a step up as a good QB for the franchise, with a historic comeback win against the Buccs. You like that???
 * The NFC East was theirs by Week 16.
 * The Packers beat them in the wild card round. It's worth noting not many people were showing up to their games still.
 * The 2016 season still had upsides
 * But despite all of them the Skins finished just out of reach of playoffs with an 8-7-1 record.
 * The defense was the culprit for some losses, so most of those personnel were fired.
 * Then in the 2017 offseason, Allen's ego struck him. Realizing McCloughan was showing how awful he was at his job, Bruce wanted him out of the organization before Snyder had any thoughts of firing him instead. So what did he do? Bruce claimed he was currently struggling with his alcohlism (Scot had issues in the past) and fired him just before the 2017 draft! McCloughan was also absent from the Redskins before hand due to the passing of his Grandma.
 * Most of the Redskins personnel have been known to be documented drinking so that makes it pretty obvious why Bruce fired McCloughan.
 * Bruce would return the team back to the state he knew best for the 2017 season: mediocrity
 * At least they finished better than the Giants at 7-9.
 * This was also Kirk Cousins last season with the team, as he would go to the Vikings after this season.
 * The Redskins would then trade for Chiefs QB Alex Smith, who was looking for a place to go after losing his job to Patrick Mahomes.
 * The 2018 was pretty much an episode of The Emergency Room
 * Alex Smith would play well winning 6 of his first 9, then shit went south. In the week 11 game against the Texans, he would suffer a leg injury that could have ended his career. (I say could have... how the fuck did he come back from that?)
 * This of course led to the traditional Redskins QB carousel featuring Colt McCoy, Josh Johnson and... the return of Mr. Buttfumble Mark Sanchez. The Skins lost 6 of the last 7 and missed the playoffs.
 * Jay Gruden's time with the franchise started to get heated with disagreements over the direction of the team and the 2019 draft. Snyder took over the first round personally and selected QB Dwayne Haskins with their first rounder, but Jay, along with the rest of the Skins' personnel didn't want to start him, feeling he needed more development and had some attitude issues. Therefore the Skins also picked up Case Keenum from free agency.
 * It should be noted Haskins charged people to come to his draft party and snarked at the teams prior to Washington in the draft for not picking him.

The Culture is damn awful

 * 2019's train wreck deserves a documentary.
 * Jay Gruden was still hesitant to start Haskins and decided to use Keenum and Mccoy, following an 0-5 start to the season, Gruden was finally fired.
 * The day before he was fired, he high tailed it out of FedEx Field after the loss to the Patriots, the next day he was fired at 5 in the morning.
 * In a press conference with Bruce Allen regarding the change, he was asked about how the culture was in the locker room. His response: "The culture is actually damn good".
 * Whatever Bruce Allen says about the culture is pretty bullshit if you look to Trent Williams.
 * Before the season started, Trent Williams started holding out. He demanded to be traded and vowed to never play for the Redskins again due to the mishandling of a head injury.
 * Allen wouldn't give in, therefore Williams reported to the team on the day of the trade deadline so he gets credit for the season. He then failed a physical following helmet discomfort.
 * What was the head injury Williams was talking about? It was cancer. The Redskins misdiagnosed a slow growing tumor on his head 6 years ago, he got it removed only a few weeks before it would of reached his brain.
 * While Williams still has a good relationship with Snyder (don't know how but they are friends), he confirmed in a later interview the bridge with Allen was definitely burned.
 * Bruce Allen would respond by refusing to pay him and finding a way to claim the cancer diagnosis with Trent wasn't all that serious. This is probably why he lost his job.
 * When Kyle Shananan, who is now head coach of the dominating 49ers was asked about his time working for Washington, he said the good that came out of it was working with the players and meeting new faces, the bad: "everything else".
 * After the utter disaster of the season and realizing who was obviously the big problem, Snyder finally fired Allen. The trainer who misdiagnosed Williams was fired too.
 * What is even more hilarious is Allen had no idea he was getting fired, he literally thought everything was damn good.

2020's: The Riverboat Team with No Name

 * The Skins then hired former Panther HC Ron Rivera, if dealt with correctly than things will look a lot better.
 * Sadly he also got a cancer diagnosis around this time.

Name Redacted

 * Following the deaths of George Floyd and Breanna Taylor, another resurgence happened in anti-racism and activism protests calling for Snyder to retire the Redskins name, along with any other sports team associated with Native American ties.
 * While Snyder at first began to consider it, it wasn't until his sponsors threatened to ends their deals with him the Redskins name was finally retired.
 * As a result of the sudden retirement, the team has no choice but to go by "The Washington Football Team" while management takes the time to pick a new name, he honestly can't be blamed for that one, it does take time.
 * Some guy then trademarked all the names Snyder was thinking of, he'll probably sue.
 * Then there was a shit ton of cheerleader horror stories, it's pretty much all connected let's be real.
 * Well if anything the 2020 season was okay?
 * Somehow they beat the Eagles Week 1, yeah who knows how.
 * Haskins then got benched Week 4 after the team lost the rest of those games.
 * Rivera needed help getting off the field after it was over due to his cancer treatments.
 * This misery was somehow short lived, after beating the Cowboys, Ron beat cancer! (I wonder if that's related)
 * Oh yeah, and Alex Smith would be back on the football as well starting, comeback of the decade folks.
 * The Football Team was now competing with the Giants and Cowboys for the NFC Least, to be real Rivera really started shaping up the team.
 * There was one issue with the team: and it was none other than Haskins himself, Rivera would release him after Week 16.
 * After a loss to Seattle earlier, Dwayne went to go celebrate his GF's birthday, with strippers, while breaking the COVID protocols, he was fined $40k
 * Alex Smith's back up, Kyle Allen would get injured, giving Dwayne the 2nd string spot once again, he still wouldn't do well.
 * Eventually, Ron Rivera sat Snyder down, told him straight up Haskins was not a good choice and requested to release him (god damn Ron), Snyder gave the go ahead and Haskins went bye-bye.
 * All these moves would give the WFT the grand prize: the winners of the NFC Least! Of course they lost in the wild card to Tompa Bay but hey we all thought it was gonna be the Cowboys!
 * The WFT would hire Martin Mayhew as their next GM, he was the guy who took over the Lions after 0-16 so who knows how this is gonna go.
 * Since it was obvious that the Football Team needed a new QB and that they had a low first round pick, priorities had to be towards a temporary solution. Therefore Washington settled on THE temporary solution: Fitzception.
 * As usual the WFT went out of the gate taking a nose dive
 * -The legend of Fitz will sadly have to wait as he got injured in Week 1, regulating Taylor Heineken to start again.